The same storm, but different boats

I want to start this post by saying a belated Happy New Year, and that I truly hope it will be a little brighter than the last for everyone! Although we’re all currently experiencing the same storm, it has become clear to me that we are each sailing through it in our own individual boats. Whether you’re planning your next great venture, or taking life a day, hour or minute at a time, how you choose to live this year is entirely up to you. The most important thing is that you choose to live, do that and you are doing enough! That might sound simple and almost cheesy to some, but for others it can sadly feel like a constant battle.

Recently I stumbled upon some rather thought provoking words in an Instagram advert, of all places, which completely struck me. The author of the post spoke of human life as we know it being an illusion, and I don’t mean we’re all in a video game (not that I’m entirely ruling that out as a possibility), but rather the framework that we live in is one of conditioning. We build our identity to serve this illusion, we compete, conform and live up to the expectations it has of us to simply fit in. That’s a significant amount of pressure that many of us are likely putting on ourselves as a result of this system, and so it’s no surprise that our mental health is continually being tested. The author concluded that if we can unlearn these ways, happiness and fulfilment will be far easier to find. So if we stop competing with others, stop being the person that we think society wants us to be and rather be the person that we want to be, and stop trying to live up to societal expectations, we can free ourselves. This is all of course simpler said than done, but identifying the things in our lives that perpetuate these pressures is a jolly good place to start!

In today’s society social media is an extremely powerful tool at the disposal of many people, and one that is being utilised and relied upon more heavily in the current global situation. On one hand it can be an incredibly positive tool used to; spread awareness, connect like minded people and bring about much needed change. However, its powers can also be harnessed to generate and present a false, almost flawless reality to others, depicting the highlights and omitting the lowlights, something which can be particularly harmful for those considered role models, to do. As a result we may aspire, even if subconsciously, to have lives that simply don’t exist. Now don’t get me wrong, life can be wonderful, it’s just important that we acknowledge that it’s certainly not picture perfect for anyone. See I‘m all for the idea of everyone being more transparent with what they put out into the world, but in reality no one has any obligation to do so. Alternatively, we can take matters into our own hands when it comes to protecting our mental health and do something far more likely to yield results. We can remove those that cause us to think negatively of ourselves/our lives from our feeds, and instead fill them with people that make us feel positive and empowered, and what’s more, try to be that person to others (both of which I am trying to do more)!

Basically in my long winded kinda way I’m trying to say, choose to live and try to do so happily and as the person you want to be. Appreciate the small things; the sun setting, the birds singing, the person that smiles at you from across the way. Don’t let anyone bring you down or fool you into thinking they lead a perfect life, and definitely surround yourself with empowering people! Finally be kind, because whilst someone’s boat may appear grander than your own and in perfect order, there could be tiny holes beneath the surface causing them to slowly sink, so be the person that helps them to mend their boat and make it through the storm.

Our mental health is so so important, and now more than ever we have to look out for each other, so please check in on your loved ones, and be the reason someone feels a little brighter today. And more importantly, if you’re someone currently suffering in silence please don’t bottle it up and let it consume you, reach out for help! It’s normal to feel scared/worried about opening up or even like you’re a burden for doing so, but there is support out there and people that truly want to help you! Below is just a handful of the organisations that provide support;

Samaritans-

Call- 116 123 (for free day or night from any phone)

Email- jo@samaritans.org

Shout-

Text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 (for free day or night from all major UK mobile networks)

Cruse Bereavement Care- emotional support for those affected by bereavement.

Call- 0808 808 1677 (free from all uk landlines and mobiles)

If you’re outside the UK-

Visit- www.befrienders.org to find a support line in your area.

Thank you for reading, I really hope you enjoyed my first blog post!

Bel xx