You are what you wear

Fashion encompasses the latest hairstyles, decorations, behaviours, and of course clothing, which is the focus of this post. My relationship with fashion, specifically clothing, is one that has certainly evolved throughout my life, and upon reflection is also rather significant. You see, I have come to realise that the way I approach fashion is intrinsically linked with my level of self-esteem. So I guess in other words, the way that I dress acts to both reveal and determine how I feel in my own skin. This connection, from my experience, can be as positive as it can negative. Something which I’ve been on quite the journey to discover.

As a teenager I was hugely insecure and had very little confidence, something I know I certainly wasn’t alone in. That combination of pesky hormones and the acquisition of knowledge regarding societies beauty standards, completely blindsided me! I began using fashion as a tool to hide the things that I disliked about myself. The things that didn’t fit this beauty ideal so strikingly etched on my mind. I would wear clothing that covered the hair on my arms and the acne on my shoulders, clothing that was oversized enough to hide my shapeless body. Now on one hand I felt a sense of relief, my ‘flaws’ were of course no longer on show for everyone to see. However, I was certainly far from strutting my stuff whilst sassily snapping my fingers in a Z formation, (you know, the typical “I’m feeling confident” moves...). The truth is, I disliked how I felt when I was dressed that way, and I envied those that wore the clothing I believed I simply couldn’t. Fashion to me became nothing more than a way to mask myself, a way to disappear into the background. It’s upsetting to know that I felt like this at one stage, but I try not to live in the past. Instead, I question and challenge my feelings, deciphering what caused them to arise, in order to learn and better myself for the future.

It was in doing this that my relationship with fashion was completely transformed. However, this didn’t happen overnight, I have spent much time unpicking my beliefs surrounding beauty, eradicating those of a damaging nature and rebuilding a more positive belief system. Whilst I’m still working on this, I’ve reached a point where fashion and my self-esteem are, for the most part, positively connected, and that feels pretty darn good! The thing is we aren’t born scrutinising every aspect of our physical appearance, but that’s exactly what we are taught to do everyday of ours lives! When I think back to being a kid, I remember wearing clothes that I loved with a completely care free attitude. Frankly, I couldn’t have cared less what other people thought, or how trendy I looked (which is overwhelmingly evident from the family photo albums). Joking aside, it almost feels like my approach to fashion has come full circle. I once again try to wear the clothes I love, and I rarely feel like I’m hiding behind them. I love bold pieces that clash, and styles that allow me to express myself and feel confident in my own body. Now, I’m not saying that you must wear brightly coloured clothing, or that you can’t dress modestly, but rather that you should wear things that make you feel as good on the inside, as they do on the outside. Never be made to feel that you must cover up parts of yourself, or look a certain way, just to conform with toxic beauty standards. You are one of a kind, a unique human being, you are already beautiful (cheesy perhaps, but true). Believing this isn’t always plain sailing, and despite the fact I’m starting to see myself through fresh eyes, there are still days where I revert back to feeling insecure. But I’m learning that that’s okay, the main thing is not to let yourself be consumed by these feelings.

In writing this post I wanted to show anyone that identifies with my experience, that they’re not alone. And for those currently striving to have a better relationship with themselves and fashion, you’ll get there, it just takes time to dismantle your current belief system and start seeing things in a new light. There’s honestly so much more I want to write, but I don’t want to drift off onto too many tangents, or I may well never stop. I want to delve deeper into body positivity and also discuss how we can all take a more sustainable approach to fashion, so definitely stay tuned!

Thank you for reading this post, I hope you’ve found something positive to take away!

Bel xx